In the words of Charlamagne from the breakfast club, he often suggests to own your truth so no one can have power over you and your situations. As a Christian we are encouraged to live a life of spiritual integrity as we realize our lives are meant to be intertwined through relationships. I wrestled with God a little about sharing this post because for me it is a bit too transparent, but I believe my story can help encourage someone who has or is going through a similar situation.
It all started when I was in a car accident back in college. I totaled my car and no longer had means of transportation to get around Charlotte, NC. I moved back on campus where I would remain until graduation. Upon graduation I had plans to move to Atlanta so at this point I really needed a car. I saved up my money and planned for my dad to take me and be my cosigner at the dealership when I came up for the holidays (which was exactly this time of year 5 years ago.) I just knew I was going to walk away with a car that day and sadly I didn't. My dad had just closed or was in the process of closing on a house so he wasn't the best option to be a cosigner, but he was all I had. I was devastated.
Fast forward to me back in Charlotte, I decided to attempt to get a car again on my own. My line sister and her mom decided to come with me to the dealership and basically I wasn't able to get a new car, but my line sister ended up walking away with a new car and she sold me her old car for a penny. We both walked away with cars.
Throughout my time living in Atlanta, there were many moments where my car broke down and I had no one around to help me so I often became my own mechanic. The struggle was REAL.
After spending 2 years in ATL i decided to move back up north to be closer to my family because my dad passed away and I wanted to pursue fashion full time.
My intention was to move straight to NYC so I sold my car before coming up because there would be no need for it any longer. Plans didn't go as planned and after four years I was still living in Jersey, with NO CAR.
Over the past four years I've been commuting to work via train and whenever I would need to go somewhere outside of that I would call an uber, ask my roommates or my most pride breaking means of transportation....take the bus. Yes, Facia had to get on the bus at times to get where she needed to go because financially I wasn't at my highest and I needed to get where I needed to go. I would often make my destinations my running route so I wouldn't feel as miserable as not being able to transport myself from point A to point B. I am someone who is extremely independent so to have to be in a season where I was in complete dependence on other people really increased my level of humility and ultimately refined my character.
If you've been following me on social media you can see that I am always EVERYWHERE. I even recently went on a LOAF Engage People Tour across NJ, PA & NYC to get out the word about the brand and from the outside looking in it looked like everything was nice and polished little did my audience know what it took for me to get to those events. The physical and spiritual load was heavy to carry, but commitment and perseverance is what carried me.
Every morning, on my short walk to the train for work I would have my prayer time with God. Every morning I had to surrender and lay my pride and ego down on the cross and I often asked God why I was still stuck in this season. After work, I would take a stroll in the park and sometimes even sit and read to clear my mind and again, to talk to God. Over time, I developed patience and Iearned to rest in him. I believed that I was only in that season for a time.
Over the weekend I was able to walk away from the dealership with a 2016 Honda Accord Sport in my own name. This was such an important moment for me because of all that had happened over the past four years. Can you imagine going from having a car and moving at your own pace to having to completely depend on someone else? When my father was passing away he shared with my brother that one of his deepest pains was not being able to provide a car for him when he was in high school when he first got his license and those memories came back again when that pain was repeated at the car dealership when we attempted to get me one as well. I can hear my dad's voice being so proud and happy as I signed my life away at the dealership lol.
I say all of this to encourage someone who may be struggling in a waiting season. From social media or the outside looking in, it may seem as if my life is completely put together, but there has been a lot of struggle behind the scenes. You can't see integrity and humility through a screen. I needed to be in a season of dependence in order to go into this next season of my life which I believe will require humility. God was able to fine tune my character and our relationship has been able to grow so deep because of that.
What are you facing today and how can you persevere in that situation?
Are you in a waiting season?
How can you have joy in your waiting?
Waiting can be frustrating, but God is always working even when we can't see or feel it. I saiah 40:31 says "Those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread there wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind". My car is a promise from God that he will never leave or forsake me. That promise also applies to you, just believe it! God may be challenging your faith during this time so do the best you can with what you have and God will meet you where you are.
I hope this encourages someone this week!